This week the Panty Kickers are talking about the ever-unpopular EX and how the things they said about us, did against us, or thought about us become part of our personal narrative and over-all vision of who we are and what we can become.
Carolyn says:
- Romantic relationships have the power to take you out of who you thought you were.
- You put yourself in a bush! You can’t blame anyone else for your wild actions related to someone else.
- Exes teach you about yourself and get you closer to knowing what you do and do not want from relationships.
- Once you love yourself you stop believing that you deserve to be treated like crap.
- It’s not love that makes you accept bad behavior from a lover, it’s a lack of love for yourself.
Becca says:
- What I’ve realized about the ones that do occupy my mind time to time is that I still have not gone through the stages of forgiveness necessary to move on.
- Self love/forgiveness is so much harder to achieve than forgiving the actions of someone else.
- Be sure to close the door – It can be so painful to cut someone out that you are used to having around, but I promise it will also be very freeing to take ownership over your best interest.
- Every relationship will bring lessons to the table, and it’s what you do with what others will teach you that matters.
Homework: Do a gut check and find the most bothersome spot in your dating history, the thing that turns you red, that still bug you after all these years. Now think about this in context of forgiveness of yourself and see what you come up with. Can you see your past self? Can you reach out with a virtual hug for this person and instead of beating them with “you should have” “why didn’t you” “how could you have” try instead to understand the road that person was traveling THEN and be compassionate for their experience. What lead to that? How has that person grown since? Does your heart feel lighter?
Song mention!: Lucinda Williams’ “Metal Firecracker”.
See you next week for Brian’s Q&A “Hi Carol and Becca my name is Brian and I definitely need a kick in the panties. Love your podcast especially the one about stop comparing yourself to others that was really helpful. My question is how do I motivate myself to have a better attitude at work and not hate it. I work retail.” and for the next full length episode “Being Happy for Others” on July 8th.
XO Panty Kickers
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