Boundaries

Psychology today says: Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us. Join the Panty Kickers for an important discussion about how setting boundaries can make you a whole and healthy person.

Carolyn says:

  1. Get some self awareness: What are your dealbreakers? What are you willing to accept?
  2. Remember that you are them most important person in your life and your opinion of yourself is what really matters.
  3. Teach people how to treat you.

Becca says:

  1. The first step in understanding and setting boundaries that matter is to do an audit.  Really think about times in your life where others actions made you feel uncomfortable and examine what the stem cause of that is.
  2. Expect some people to walk away (or force you to push them away) when you boundary check – not everyone will be comfortable with you asserting yourself in a clear way. 
  3. Follow your gut.  Your body always lets you know when a boundary is being crossed in your life. 

HOMEWORK: Are you someone who always prioritizes other’s needs above your own?  Do you struggle with saying no and setting personal boundaries?  This week, say no to something you don’t want to do and don’t make an excuse.  Just say simply “No, thank you”,  or “No, I can’t help with that this week.” and see how liberating it is to set 1 simply boundary around time.  If someone asks you to take their shift at work, say, “no”.  If someone asks you for a dollar on the street, say, “no”.  If someone asks you for your number, say, “no”.  Practicing the all powerful, “no” can be a great way to begin asserting your boundaries.

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See you next week for Brit Q&A: “Dear B+C, I’m learning that traditional relationships (monogamous single partner relationships) are not going to work for me. Unfortunately years of being raised in a society that pushes this type of relationship on us all keeps popping it’s head up when I try to explore new styles of relationships. Do you have any suggestions on ways I can unlearn and break down some of the expectations that come along with these learned traditional relationship behaviors?” and for our next full-length episode: How to get from casual dating, to exclusive, to real relationship

XO Panty Kickers